Are you with me or what?

So who here is tired and bored of Pitchfork? I've been reading it regularly, probably about once a day give or take the occasional disruption in access to the internet for the last 3 1/2 years. I guess the basic jist of it has remained fairly solid - good reviews, news, etc. of independent music and anything else in music that's noteworthy, but Pitchfork has increasingly taken on this persona of trying to be your absurdly sarcastic and literate friend. Let's take the example of yesterday's review of the new Basement Jaxx single "Hush Boy". The first sentence is solid: great! an amusing analogy about how there was bound to be a day we wouldn't like the first single to a Basement Jaxx record. Then astonishingly they carry out the analogy, which is actually about a relationship, breakup, and a freaky related dream, for an entire two paragraphs.

I only read the whole thing out of astonishment and also so I could see what kind of wreckage would result from all this. Trust me, I was not disappointed. The punchline included a dream where your girlfriend breaks open like a shell only to reveal "the head of Dikembe Mutombo who yelps, 'if you want me for your girlfriend!'" Really, who even know who the hell Dikembe Mutombo is? I do only because I grew up around Philadelphia where Mutombo played when I was young and still a fan of the Sixers, but what person today reading Pitchfork without that same connection would know who he is? Nonetheless, the analogy is fucking ridiculous. I agree with the review, but when did music criticism become a half-baked exercise in creative writing?

But Pitchfork wasn't always like this. I remember checking out a review of the Jeff Buckley album "Grace" from 1996 when Pitchfork was still in its infancy and didn't have the digital clout that it has today. After reading it, I was surprised to find out how short the review actually was - maybe only 1 or 2 paragraphs. That's how much text they devote to a single track review nowadays; and remember, "Grace" was a seriously respected album back when it came out 10 years ago probably meriting some serious commentary.

Although my frustration with Pitchfork goes well beyond this, reading the Basement Jaxx review made it oh so clear.